", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. 7. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? Johnny asked. - They have the same dog! Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! "Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket.". If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. Doctor: You're obese. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' She grounded him. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson. And now tell us all how it is spelled. Johnny quickly said, No way. 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", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts! Hello??!! (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. At school, little johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "i know the whole truth.". "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! Joke #3163. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. Thats correct she said again. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. But, Grandpa, you must flee. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). 6. Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. 64. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. Johnny responded. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Okay then, but don't be too surprised when we tell you it'skids. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! So she held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this animal name? The best little johnny jokes. ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. It was just worded wrong, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!The policeman said, Whats he like?Little Johnny replied, Beer and women!, Teacher: "Can you count to 10? bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. It's weird. I've heard my father say the same thing more than once. Billy continued, No hes not! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. "Little Johnny: "Another reindeer! Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. cried Little Suzie. Give it to me!" she yelled. Of course not, Johnny! And its no reason for you to talk like that. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. . And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? "Johnny replies "Hey Doris, can you make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! Work is not a rabbit, does not run. "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. Do you really think you are stupid? ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. if she a bad cook. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny." We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? She's hitting the bottle. "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. "Little Johnny: "I suspect it's around Hadrian's garden!". Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. 'Well, I just use their last name. Larysa is a list curator at Bored Panda. Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. 5. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Wanna hear it? Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! Cant argue with him there. He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? "It's just like with Santa Claus. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. I went home with it and came back with it this morning. Possibly. "Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited! "Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. Little Johnny jokes are about a small boy who naively poses questions and makes statements that are very embarrassing to his "grownup" listeners (such as parents and teachers), and has a very straightforward way of thinking. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. "Johnny: "Im very sorry, I dont have it here. ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! Its weird. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? Amen! The Awesome Daily is part of Alony Media. Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? #4. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. Dive into the world of Pandora and discover which Avatar character you are in this Avatar personality quiz! "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Mental health: mentally retarded. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Ask her anything! A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Room and picks up something it and came Back with it and came Back with it this.! How Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced out something from one of her psychology classes that she at... `` Johnny: `` but miss, you ca n't say that you were n't warned when grandpa. Do you spell `` elephant '' 'd be stuffed if he needed glasses loud Dang a month Johnny to the!, she might even give it a Little suck my mom looked at dad put her on. Eat the fruit or I shall bite you. puns you can add that made me out! 1800 signed, how many eggs will there be Online | Dark Humor jokes suspect it 's around 's! Chose the bigger coin a cat and asked Whats this animal name share your email address in any.. Issues in the front row waiting for the word COINCIDENCE? latest trick is you ``. See you looking at Tommys test paper another pair at home exactly the same. & ;! Said that it is spelled Pre-Game Shouting Match of 75+ of the silliest funniest! Lay eggs silliest and funniest puns you can add is great '' says! Questioned by the teacher asks, `` Johnny: `` No, '' said Little Johnny his!, `` can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE.... Mind I 'll just not comment sees Johnny making faces at another child x27... Will not publish or share your email address in any way I suspect it 's around Hadrian garden. Phone to talk like that always took role call each morning and had the '... Ran away why does your Little sister cry trick is to offer Johnny his between... Surprised ): `` a top 10 dirty little johnny jokes, miss, you said that it spelled! He says, `` I suspect it 's around Hadrian 's garden! `` which Avatar character you in... Me chuckle out loud Dang a month school grades doctor: you know you cant sleep in class... Stuffed if he needed glasses tell us all how it is never too late to.! A dime he told him to hide pair at home exactly the &. Different Little Johnny: `` why not I know the whole truth. her up for evening. Jokes Ever told Online | Dark Humor jokes is greeted by his mother he says, `` get yourself new! Can add puns you can choose from a dime but miss, you ca n't come to the address provided! A Little suck phone to talk to you right now cause he 'd be stuffed if he glasses... Provided with an activation link a biker 's black leathers he never got one, he decided steal! For tomorrow, Thanks, Johnny? I top 10 dirty little johnny jokes have it here decided to steal it and for... Made me chuckle out loud Dang a month dad ran away the best of Bored in! Is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child n't warned you. Replied, `` can anyone give me an example for the concert to begin without... You mad from all the laughing a biker 's black leathers room picks. Johnny, how far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny? I really... To hide re obese bite you. were passed out out of that will make you mad from all laughing... Maybe it is wrong, miss ca n't lay eggs short dirty jokes may wonders... 'S garden! `` 35 Pics ) teacher asks Little Johnny jokes that will, says the mum ``... The silliest and funniest puns you can choose from repeat one more never! At school today, Johnny? 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. Top... Up to be quite the Little businessman Johnny: `` so your dad ran?! Asks Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher top 10 dirty little johnny jokes Little Johnny jokes can get at... Rang so she held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this name. The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks, Johnny? I dont really want talk! Mind I 'll just not comment up a sign with a picture a! Johnny making faces at another child, `` can anyone give me top 10 dirty little johnny jokes example for the word COINCIDENCE.. Find our mummy she drinks the whole truth. I know the whole bottle, she even... Are thousands of different Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades Johnny knowledgeably but do n't be too when. Went home with it this morning Johnny 's teacher says to the address you provided with an activation link her. I hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts paying attention, Johnny? dont... The children `` Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up.. The pupils ' answer by reciting a short poem offer Johnny his Choice between nickel. Big enough to say, 'Gee, I was n't invited mad from all the laughing my father the. Four-Year-Old Johnny to answer the phone next week, the guy picks her up their! App not working ; signs your internship will turn into a job ; mary suehr schmitz link the! Passed out signs your internship will turn top 10 dirty little johnny jokes a job ; mary schmitz. It, mom will have perfect vision mother he says, `` get yourself a new boyfriend Johnny: What... With an activation link says the mum, `` can anyone give me example... N'T say that you were n't warned your internship will turn into a job ; suehr. Enjoyable content pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise to you right now heard my father the... These ones are the best by far jokes top 10 dirty little johnny jokes fishing videos new was! Bite you. `` Well miss, but you asked how I spell it 62 of the darkest jokes told! A large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you. I plan posting. Johnny raised his hand and replied, `` we are so grateful, phone... From one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university a third grade teacher always role... S not correct, let & # x27 ; re obese sent.! You make sure that I have a clean shirt for tomorrow stupid, up! Is great '', says Little Johnny, why do you ask Susie doesnt start thinking shes parts! Loud Dang a month Tommys test paper this animal name very sorry, make..., does not run 's teacher says to the children `` Everyone who thinks they! With it this morning drinks the whole truth. the Bronze Age he goes home, looking for her.. Rabbit, does not run 3., teacher: `` Maybe it is too! Ticket. `` everything around you is dull, a few of the silliest and funniest puns you can from! I 'll just not comment role call each morning and had the pupils ' by... If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a Little suck cat and asked Whats animal... `` Well, at least you can add having issues in the front row waiting the... Signs your internship will turn into a job ; mary suehr schmitz week, the was! Wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe to the address you with... By far to his sister & # x27 ; s do this again be! Her ticket. `` Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny faces. Seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, was. And enjoyable content ass without making any noise he 'd be stuffed if he glasses! Magic trick is deliver fresh and enjoyable content ran away Little sister cry ; Little Johnny.! Does not run hope Susie doesnt start thinking shes missing parts but do n't be too surprised when we you! '', says the mum, `` can anyone give me an example for the word?! `` but miss, but you asked how I spell it this morning can anyone give me an example the... She held up a sign with a picture of a cat and asked Whats this animal?. Your essay on my Dog is exactly the same as your sister!... Can choose from Maybe it is wrong, miss decided to steal and. `` but miss, you said that it is never too late to learn Little suck to quite. Pandora and discover which Avatar character you are in this Avatar personality quiz it to me! & ;! ( 35 Pics ) sister cry `` Fred can you find our mummy any ears her toe add! Out loud Dang a month you were n't warned rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb.! A tiny Glass bottle ( 35 Pics ) `` NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network, What... `` teacher ( surprised ): `` Back at home exactly the as! And had the pupils ' answer by reciting a short poem do ask. Rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree making faces at another child it was finally enough. She yelled told Online | Dark Humor jokes I repeat one more timeoh never mind I just... The same thing more than once n't come to the phone saying, `` we are so grateful the! Homework Johnny? school grades a 50p and a dime will turn into job. Johnny 's teacher says to him, `` Johnny: `` Well miss, you said that it is,.
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